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  • Writer's pictureMegan Richards

One (of Many) Auditions I’ve Bombed

Updated: Feb 22, 2021

It was my first audition in New York in a year. I was only there for the summer, having just come off a contract with another contract starting soon, so I hadn’t actually planned on going to any auditions while I was in town. I mean, I probably should have but I’ve never been great at going to auditions “just to be seen” or whatever. I tend to treat those sweet, delicious periods of time where a contract is just around the corner like snow days: “No school! Let’s party!”

But my friend Hillary told me that POET was in town. At the time, they did casting for a lot of cruise ships and I had recently recorded an embarrassingly bad audition video for them and hadn’t heard anything back (shocker) so I decided I would try and redeem myself by auditioning for them in person.

I fought what had become for me a standard set of “pre-audition” nerves as I went to bed the night before and all the next morning as I got myself to the audition. Thoughts played on repeat in my mind:

“I’m not prepared! I haven’t even looked at my audition cuts in months!”

“What if I don’t get a callback? What will that say about me?”

“What if I’m just not good enough?”

When the time came for me to enter the audition room the next day, I was paralyzed with old patterns of fear. My confidence and my ability to be myself and be present in the room were all out the window by the time I hit the neon green “X.” My breathing sucked, the pianist and I were somehow not in the same key and when they asked if I had any pop songs in my book I had to tell them I didn’t. Which was dumb because I’d just gotten off a cruise ship contract where I sang a whole show of pop songs. A slow learner and still wet behind the ears as a professional, it hadn’t yet occurred to me to add any of those songs to my book.

Needless to say, I left the room less than optimistic that I had given them something to remember. I wearily made my way home and waited for God to talk to me about what had just happened.

He did, as he always will if we will trust him to. Like Texas rain, cooling off a hot day. What I sensed him teaching me as I rode the subway home was that even when I fail, God will not fail me. God has very intentional and very awesome plans for me and if I keep trusting him, my mistakes and failures will not get in his way. What is required of me is that I keep showing up for my life with Him. That particular day, I did so the best I knew how at the time: I went to the audition, even though I was feeling scared and insecure. And afterwards, I admitted to myself and to Him that I could’ve been more prepared. I resolved to be more diligent in staying prepared in and out of audition seasons. The final thing I remember occurring to me as I processed my failed audition was that if God wanted me to work for POET or anywhere else, He would make sure it happened.

The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it. – Psalm 24:1

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