I Don’t Understand Why God Doesn’t Always Heal
I let out a deep sigh as I sank back against the sofa cushions, happy to have a moment to zone out and scroll through Facebook. Moments later I felt the grief form in my heart as I slowly pieced together news that a sweet teenage actress I knew had finally lost her battle with cancer. Her mother had posted photo after photo of her daughter in celebration of her life and I sat looking through them for the better part of an hour, grieving for this family.
I had met this young lady about six months earlier when a mutual friend of ours had asked me to give her and her friends a private backstage tour of a show I was in at the time. Her doctors had predicted that the cancer could take her as soon as that weekend. I was struck by her big, beautiful, unburdened smile. She friended me on facebook after that and I curiously looked through her page, rejoicing to see that she obviously loved and trusted Jesus as her Savior. I prayed for her off and on in the months to come, wanting so much for her to get victory over the disease on this side of heaven. I was encouraged as she held on to life and weeks turned into months. But in the end God allowed her battle to end and brought her Home.
Cancer is not of the Lord. No disease is. But I had joined many others in asking God to heal her and he didn’t.
“My heart will choose to say, ‘Blessed be the name of the Lord.’”
I started singing:
“Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow slowly dim
In the light of His glory and grace.”
And then another song:
“You can have it all, Lord
Every part of my world
Take this life and breathe on
This heart that is now yours.”
Because he is always worthy of my praise.